Gone

I had to leave Adam in Virginia to come back to San Diego. The original idea was that we would both be leaving the same day, me for SD and him for Iraq but of course it is the military and he got postponed a day. Saying goodbye to him at the airport was one of the hardest things, I didn't want to let go of his hug. Walking through the airport and going through security I couldn't help the tears falling from my eyes. I did pretty well the rest of the time but lost it again as we were getting ready to land in SD and knowing that Adam wasn't there waiting for me and wouldn't be there anytime soon. We got to talk when I got home and I got to tell him about all the destruction the dogs did while we were away. I also got to talk to him most of the next day, and then it was time for him to board his plane so we said goodbye.

I was doing alright the day after Adam left because I was substituting Kindergarten and everyone knows how much energy that can take! The part that was the hardest was going home and not even being able to call him to tell him about my day. I didn't hear from him the next day either, but I was doing well. No anxiety attacks so far this time that he has left, guess that means I am getting used to living by myself. This morning however I woke up stressed out and frustrated that I hadn't heard from him. I was starting to worry more when the phone rang and of course it was him! He had traveled to Kuwait and then Iraq right away instead of having a few days in Kuwait like originally planned. It was so nice to get to talk to him but it made me miss him more. I wish he were here with me and this time he isn't just across the country. I have to think ten hours ahead instead of just three!

Saying Goodbye

I think that the week before a deployment are the worst days. Constantly at the back of my mind I am thinking that we only have x amount of days left together, or this will be the last time we do this until he gets back. I try not to think about these things as I am trying to hold myself together. I am sad that Adam is leaving and wish he could stay but I know he has to go. I've been trying to restrain myself from asking him not to go since I know he has to and I know it hurts him when I ask that. So far we have had a wonderful week together. We have had fun in Virginia Beach and went up to Delaware for my birthday last weekend. It was great seeing Adam's family again and playing with his nephew and niece. It was also fun seeing more of the east coast since I've never driven through Virginia and Maryland before, I'll post pictures soon. I'm dreading saying goodbye to Adam especially since he'll be dropping me off at the airport and I'll have to wait around for my flight knowing that he is only so many minutes away. I just want to get to the comfort of our house and our dogs so I can have a good cry and feel better.

Off to Virginia

It is almost midnight and early tomorrow morning Adam and I will be off to Virginia. It is time for Adam to report back to the command on the east coast and I am going with him. I'm going to stay with him until he deploys which I can't tell you when that is. I'm happy to go get to spend this time with him even though it puts me on an emotional roller coaster. I'll try to enjoy the time with him but it's hard not to think that soon we will be apart. I keep telling him that I wish he could stay and didn't have to go which I know is not making things easy on him. Hopefully I will be able to keep it together until he is gone. Last time he left I broke down the night before and couldn't stop crying. It is hard playing the strong military girlfriend role.
So this weekend is also my birthday and we will be going up to Delaware to spend the weekend with Adam's family. I'm so excited to see his new baby niece and to play with his little nephew. Adam already gave me my present, he was so excited he couldn't wait. He got me a promise ring which symbolizes that someday we will get engaged. I'm hoping for next year but we will see!
I'm so excited to go and get a break from subbing but at the same time I am feeling like a worried mother when I think about leaving the dogs. I have someone feeding them, taking them to the dog park, left all the emergency numbers and all that lol! They are my children and I am going to be a worried mommy, I can't help it. At least I won't have to leave them until next May or June once I get home. Anyways that is all for now!